So first and foremost, results day rolled around a lot quicker than I expected. It has been a month since then, and if you were all wondering I did indeed get into my first choice Uni to study Psychology. And so I am currently sat in an Oxford Brookes uni flat, typing this and trying to sort my life out. I feel like getting here, and being one step closer to what I want to do for the rest of my life has made me realise a few things:
1) I can definitely do anything I set my mind to as long as I work hard
2) It is definitely all worth it - fresher's flu, life-long debt and chundering into a kebab at 2.30am
3) Every sesh is a good sesh as long as Jaeger is involved.
I've only been here 2 weeks, and in the first week I really struggled, wanted to leave here and never come back. But now? I wouldn't change it for anything. I made the bestest friends, and life is great right now.
Another thing that goes through my mind every single day is how silly I was to worry about getting to uni, getting a job and everything else! Honestly, everything is going to be okay. Everything IS okay! Every single worry and stress and bad thought left my mind and my body as soon as I arrived to my new flat, to my first Oxford nightclub, to my first lecture. And I realise now that the more you worry the more you overthink and honestly? It is a waste of time! Because everything works out eventually, even if it isn't 100% what you wanted. Everything happens for a reason, and I know that's such a cliche but if I'm honest, at the end of the day we're only here to have a laugh, and I feel like if everyone starts embracing that then we're basically sorted for life.
One of the hardest things 2016 brought me was definitely a lot of heartbreak over friends. And I know what I have to say it's the biggest cliche ever but seriously...IT IS OKAY TO FALL OUT WITH SOMEONE. It is okay to move on, to not like someone anymore, to start liking someone you thought you hated. We change. As human beings we grow every single day, maybe without realising it but we do. It's okay for your needs to change, for your preferences and likes and dislikes to change. It's okay to move on from people and it's most certainly and definitely okay to say goodbye. From personal experience it feels a little like an ambiguous death (someone is still there but they're not themselves, the old them has 'died'), but it gets better. Thinking back to previous years when I thought I would be friends with people forever seems silly now, everyone moves on. Whether that's because you meet new people and grow apart, or because you have an argument. It's okay to change what you want. That's life. And for me personally, I feel like it's the time to make mistakes - change your mind twice, three even four times! Give chances to people you never wanted to have anything in common with. Cut people that make you miserable from your life, because honestly you do not need that kind of negativity in your life. I promise it's all worth it. Throughout life we will all meet people we love and people we hate, but like marmite. I know that some people will be a part of my life forever, and some have disappeared never to come back again and I'm completely at peace with that now, it's life. Everyone was involved for one reason or another, but the people in my life right now make me SO happy and I honestly wouldn't change them for ANYTHING.
The point of this blog post is to I guess raise awareness about the fact that we're all just human and it's okay to not be perfect. I'm going to be 19 on Sunday, and I am so done with petty people and petty rubbish, I am ready to be an adult. I'm ready to study and get where I want to be in life. Work hard, fall in love more and more everyday and be 100% happy.
Hopefully you've enjoyed this post and I promise the regular blog posts are starting from now on. Sorry to have taken such a long break but with everything that went on with Uni writing blog posts was quite difficult. Until next week...
x iwi x
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